Every team goes through it. Disagreements, different technical opinions… it is normal. The real question is HOW to handle it.

My approach relies on a few core tenets:

1. Constructive feedback? Always 1-on-1. No one likes to be called out publicly. Criticism, even when fair, if given privately, has a much better chance of being absorbed and leading to positive change.

2. Praise and recognition? In public! In 360 reviews, team meetings, or Slack channels. This motivates and strengthens a positive culture. “Praise in public, correct in private.” It is a classic because it works.

When Things Get Heated

But what about when things get really heated? A technical architecture discussion escalates between two engineers.

That is where someone who wants the team to thrive steps in: Be the mediator. Not the judge.

The goal is simple: Ensure each side can express their point of view. And, more importantly, ensure that each side actively listens to the other.

Often, conflicts escalate not because of the disagreement itself, but from the feeling of not being heard or understood. Facilitating this mutual listening, without taking sides, is key to de-escalating tension and finding a path forward.

It’s not about avoiding conflicts. They can be healthy and spark innovation. It’s about managing them with maturity and a focus on solutions.